


October 31st 1981

by CanadianSlytherin



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-12 02:34:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29003034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CanadianSlytherin/pseuds/CanadianSlytherin
Summary: Nothing could change the fate of the Potter’s that dreadful night. But what if someone else’s fate had changed? What if Minerva was the first to discover the Potters? How could she change the fate for our beloved characters?
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 53
Collections: ATYD Server Collab





	October 31st 1981

**Author's Note:**

> This is a Wolfstar AU complicit with the canon that is All The Young Dudes by Mskingbean89

Sirius ran the argument over and over in his head daily. If you could call it an argument that is. He and Remus always bickered but with the spy in their midst and he couldn't help but feel on edge all the time, even in bed. It had been a little over two weeks since Remus left, he had said he would only be gone two weeks but he still hadn't returned. Sirius had checked in with Moody and according to him, Remus hadn't made contact coming back yet.

So he spent his Halloween day at a Muggle shop buying candy last minute. Their small flat had the occasional trick or greater so he wanted to be prepared. Normally Remus would have taken the lead, playing some scary movie while decorating. Normally James and Lily would have Harry dressed up; probably as a quidditch player and he could try out the new broom his godfather had bought him. Mary, Marlene and Dorcas would be dressed up and visiting, sipping on punch while cooing over Harry. But this wasn't a normal Halloween. His friends were dead or in hiding or in some forest in Germany.

Alone, Sirius poured some treats into a bowl and went into the kitchen to cook up a can of pasta. As he let the pot simmer, he answered the door to a few children dressed as ghosts and witches, dropping candy in their pillow case while their parents smiled kindly. He could hear party goers out in the street, heading to pubs to celebrate in some debauchery. Part of Sirius longed for a simple Muggle life, not having to worry about fighting a war and losing your friends at every corner.

As Sirius cozied up on the couch to watch Carrie, just like he would if everyone were still around. He could still hear the girls' commentary and his friends jokes as he watched. Finishing up his food, Sirius felt something strange going on in his stomach. He considered that it could have just been bad food but it felt like someone was twisting his insides and stepping on his chest. It wasn't a full moon, so it couldn't be Remus and Peter rarely if ever, got himself into trouble. He quickly paced over to the fireplace and called Dumbledore.

"Hello Sirius. Lovely evening isn't it?" Dumbledore greeted him kindly.

"Yeah, lovely indeed. But I think there's something wrong. Something bad is happening and I think it's James and Lily,-" Sirius pained. He felt silly telling his old headmaster these weird feelings but he knew he needed help.

"I assure you they are most likely fine. I wish I could help you but you are no longer the secret keeper."

"But I was, I know where they are. Just please, can you send someone? I really need to know they're alright."

"I can see if Minerva can go. Does that soothe you Sirius?" Dumbledore answered graciously, borderline nonchalantly.

"I guess. Thank you." He sighed. "Just please tell her to let me know if they're alright when she gets back."

Dumbledore simply nodded and ended the fire call. Sirius felt a bit better but that twisty feeling wasn't going away. He paced back and forth, trying to concentrate on his inner Remus to talk him down. But his heart won and he turned out the lights and ran downstairs to the garage where his bike sat, calling his name.

Sirius drove like a bat out of hell to Godric's Hollow. The entire time his heart was ripping out his chest, trying to get to James and Lily's faster than he could drive. As he turned onto their street, he could see that the lights were on inside. He parked his bike outside of the house and went to the door tentatively. He knocked and waited, and waited for a minute before knocking again. That deep twisting feeling grew stronger as he waited so he turned the knob finding it unlocked.

Sirius would look back at that moment as one that decided his life, his destiny. Seeing his lifelong friends face lifeless on the ground before him made him stop in his tracks. He could feel the pasta pushing his way back up as he ran to James's dead body. As his hand reached for his friend, he could feel the surge of memories come back. James and him running early morning quidditch practices', teasing him over his lifelong crush on Lily or whichever flavour of the month Sirius was trying out. He remembered the late night chats and the summer of 77. the coldness of James' skin drew him back to reality, back to the truth that he was gone. Sirius drew his wand while looking around, fearing the assailant was still there.

"Homenum Revelio." Sirius muttered, watching an orb of light appear from his wand and float upstairs. Before following it, he moved James' glasses aside to close his hazel eyes, letting him rest.

Sirius followed the orb up the stairs and into the nursery. He released a sigh in relief, thinking Harry and Lily must still be alive and hiding in there. He was horribly wrong. As he entered the room, Lily's body was sprawled on the carpet in front of the crib, her eyes closed and no wand in sight. He pointed his wand at the person in the room, lowering it quickly at the friendly face.

"Sirius, how did you know?" Minerva McGonagall asked, tears drying on her cheeks as she bounced a Ed faced Harry on her hip.

"Gut feeling. I need to find who did this." He replied, his anger starting to boil over.

"No you don't, the Order will be here soon. We need to stay here." She urged.

"I know who the spy is!" He yelled, making Harry start crying. "He killed my friends, I need revenge."

"No you don't."

"Yes I do!"

"Sirius," McGonagall reprimanded. "Hold your godson."

Sirius fumed as she moved the boy into his arms. Harry looked up at his Godfather with the biggest puppy dog eyes, his lip hurting out slightly as tears streamed down his face. Sirius kissed the boy gently on the forehead before handing him back.

"Thank you, but I really need to get going." He replied, twirling his wand nervously between his fingers.

"It's not what they would've wanted." McGonagall replied, following him out of the room and down the hallway. "You're all he has left."

"He's got Lily's sister, and Remus, and you. He doesn't need me."

"Remember when the Potter's took you in? It was because your friends were there for you. James wouldn't have let you stay at Grimmauld. Nor would've Euphemia and Fleamont."

"Don't bring them into this. I need to do this Minnie,-" Sirius pleaded. "I need to do something to make their deaths better."

"Then take Harry." McGonagall cried. "Raise him like they would've wanted. You have so many people to rely on to help you. Make them happy by making sure Harry is the most spoiled, well educated young wizard in all of England."

Sirius opened his mouth to answer but Harry caught his attention first. The round-faced child was reaching out towards him, babbling as he looked at his godfather's hair dreamily. Sirius took Harry from his old professor and bounced him as he pulled his hair with his chubby little fingers.

"Fine. I'll take him."

-

The next few days were hell. The Order arrived at the Potter's house where they dealt with the crime scene and took his and McGonagall's statements. Some members helped pack up the nursery for Sirius to have things for Harry. Harry slept in the same room as Sirius to help with the nightly feedings but also with the night terrors. Harry would sweat and thrash in his sleep and cry himself awake in the middle of the night. It had only been 3 days but Sirius was tired of doing it alone.

The morning of November 3rd, Sirius sat Harry in his chair on the counter as he cooked some scrambled eggs for breakfast. The morning sun shone brightly into the flat. The night before, a rain storm had raged on and its leftover raindrops made rainbows on the floor. Sirius could have convinced himself it was a normal day in his ideal life. But he couldn't ignore the reality of his orphan godson playing with a toy in his high chair.

He heard someone jingle with the doorknob and instinctively grabbed Harry and his wand. Holding Harry tight to his chest, he pointed his wand at the door. He watched as Remus entered sleepily, setting his bag in the ground.

"What year did both mine and Peter’s sister come to visit on Christmas?" Sirius asked in a clipped voice.

"1973, third year. Dromeda brought Dora with her and Ted." Remus replied quickly, his hands raised innocently.

"Good, it's you." Sirius sighed and returned to the kitchen. He sat Harry back in the chair and finished cooking the eggs.

"Moody rushed me home. He didn't say what about." Remus added, giving Harry a quick kiss on the head. "Why is Harry here?"

Sirius stopped cooking, frozen in place. The eggs began to burn so he quickly set things aside in the fridge to cool for the child.

"Sirius, why is Harry here?" He heard again.

"Where are James and Lily? Are they still in hiding? Why is Harry here?" Remus asked for a third time.

"Harry's mine now." Sirius answered softly, just loud enough for Remus to hear.

"So they split up James and Lily from Harry? What do you mean he's yours now?"

"James and Lily are dead. Peter and I traded being the secret keeper and he gave them up. He was the spy and he killed them." Sirius choked out. The images of his best friends dead on the floor burned into his mind, as he relived the memory over and over.

"You're lying." Remus hissed, unable to accept this truth.

"Bloody hell Moony, aren't you supposed to be the smart one?" Sirius sighed. "They're gone."

"Is this some sort of sick trick by Dumbledore to keep them safe? Was the Fidelus Charm not enough?" Remus rattled, thinking of any theory that could keep his friends alive.

"Remus!" Sirius cried, making Remus look up from the counter. He could see the pain swirling in the depths of Sirius' grey eyes. "Stop it. James and Lily are dead. I saw them myself."

Remus didn't reply after that. He simply sat there while Harry babbled next to him. He sat there as Sirius cleaned up the bits of egg that Harry had flung everywhere. He sat there while the sun rose and the sun set. Guilt filled Remus, knowing that he had selfishly missed his friend's deaths. He had left Sirius alone through it, letting him take Harry in. Remus thought about how his friends were gone, and he was left with their son. As night fell and Harry went down for the night, Remus finally got up and prepared for bed.

Sirius was nearly half asleep when he crawled under the blankets, taking the position as the big spoon. Holding Sirius tightly, Remus nestled his chin into his lover's shoulder. His thumb ran small circles on Sirius's hand, feeling the torment boiling in him.

"I'm sorry Pads. I should've been there for you. I should've helped."

"It's alright. You're here now."

"It's not alright. I stayed with the pack too long and because of it, I missed out on time with James and Lily. And I left you to deal with it alone."

"Minnie was there. I had fire called Dumbledore and asked him to check up on them and he sent her. I wasn't alone. If it weren't for her, I don't know if I could've held myself back."

"You sound like me after a bad moon." Remus kissed him lightly on his shoulder. "What do you mean by holding yourself back? Were you going to go after Wormy?"

"Don't call him that." Sirius barked nastily. "He killed them Moony, he's no longer a Marauder."

"But this is Peter we're talking about. Peter who jumped at every noise during a mission, who hid a girlfriend from us so he wouldn't hurt your feelings, who would pout when you hogged Harry too much."

"Well he gave them up!" Sirius cried as he rolled over to face Remus. He could see that he too had tears rolling down his cheeks, pausing at his scar before dropping to the pillow. "Even if he didn't say the killing curse himself, he is the reason they are dead."

They paused, looking into each others eyes looking for something. For empathy, for reliance, for understanding. Sirius gently grasped Remus's face and pulled him in for a deep, passionate kiss. He wasn't looking to start anything, he just needed him. Remus kept him sane, and he needed his sanity right now more than ever.

"So what're we going to do with Harry?" Remus whispers, breaking from Sirius's lips.

"We're going to raise him Moony. We're going to give him the childhood Lily and James would've wanted him to have. We're going to spoil him and teach him Quidditch and everything about his parents. We're going to do them good."

"As you wish." Remus smiled. Sirius rolled over and let Remus wrap his arms around him tightly once again before drifting off to sleep; the first sleep of their new life.


End file.
